After XXX months since we broke up, I’m breaking my silence. I will reveal every juicy detail in this post. Hahaha! Charot lang! The reason why I chose to blog about this is the fact that my ex-boyfriend doesn’t visit or read my blog. So, it is a safe place where I can vent my feelings. Don’t worry because I won’t trash talk anyone here. I just want to write and blog about the roller coaster of feelings I have.

My ex and I have been in a relationship for four years and we decided to end it last year. But until these days, my friends can’t believe that we broke up already. What’s even (odd) funny is that some of my friends considered our relationship as the “#RelationshipGoal”. Because of that, I’m having a hard time sharing the reasons why we actually broke up.

Why did you break up?

This is the most frequently asked questions I get from friends, families, and chizmakers. I always end up answering it with a joke, “lagi kasi akong gutom“. To be totally frank, no one (not even my closest friends or family) know the reasons why we broke up. I am that secretive and private when it comes to my relationship.

The reason why I chose not to disclose the “real reasons why we broke up” is because I respect my ex-boyfriend. Even if we broke up and we chose to throw our feelings away, I prefer to treasure the respect I have for him. Even if he is not THE ONE for me, I know that he is a good person and I don’t want to put a speck of dirt on his name just because we’re not dating anymore. I also prefer not to badmouth him in front of my friends and family. In addition to that, we broke up peacefully (thank God) and I don’t want to ruin the peace between us.

Did he cheat or impregnated someone else?

Not that I know of! Hahaha. Well, neither of the two are the reasons why we called it quits. And whenever people asked me about infidelity and all, here’s my responses:

“The one who cheats with you will cheat on you”

I firmly believe that quote ever since the first time I read it. Plus, it serves as my guidance when dealing with my partner. That’s one of the main factors that help me be faithful and loyal no matter what. So, in any case, that my ex-boyfriend betrayed me, that’s totally OK! Because most likely, if he did, the person whom he cheated with will also cheat on him. It’s just a cycle!

Are you seeing someone?

I’m seeing a lot. Hahaha! No! I’m not seeing anyone as of writing and I’m not closing my heart. Mabilis ako ma-in love.

Have you moved on?

Little by little, I’m moving on, moving forward, and completely letting go. I believe that moving on is a long and tedious process. I’m still traversing the road to be whole again, to be complete, and to be ready to fall in love as if I haven’t hurt before.

How to move on?

There are no specific ways or methods to move on. The process varies from person to person. But here are some of the things that I’m doing to move on.

  • Cry when you’re sad
  • Write the pain away
  • Reconnect with your friends
  • Enjoy the process
  • Don’t chase love and don’t be in a rush to find love
  • Improve yourself, for yourself
  • Rediscover your hobbies
  • Learn that love doesn’t always have to be romantic
  • Expand your circle of friends and meet new ones
  • Discover a new perspective on life

Can you mend your relationship?

I don’t know. If we’re meant to be, the universe will do its wonders to mend our relationship. If not, we can still live happily ever after. Separately.

Originally published on 9 May 2017

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Wannderzel is the product of combining my two first names (Hazel Ann) with the words “wander” and “wonderful”. Wannderzel is a lifestyle blog about the things that tickle my fancy (travel, food, and personal stories)

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